Wednesday, October 31, 2012


I love fables, one of my most favorite books ever is The Alchemist.  For some reason, I ran across a book this past week that had slipped by my was published in the 90's, some of you may have read it, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.  If you haven't read it, and you love fables, please take some time and read it.

I was off today, and I have spent a great deal of time on the sofa reading this delightful little book.
It has been a nourishing day for my body and my mind.  I have rested, spent time with Rick and the dogs, sat by the firepit, and marveled at the incredible blue skies that covered my neck of the woods today.

We only had one little goblin tonight, Jordan came over and got his treats.  That is one of the downsides living way out in the country on a dead-end road,  the goblins we get are the wild and furry kind.

It is getting late, and I plan to read a little more before going to bed, don't forget, if you haven't read it......The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari ( a fable about fulfilling your dreams and reaching your destiny)
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Tuesday, October 30, 2012


I see more demons being fought daily than I ever dreamed possible.  To watch someone struggle with those demons in their hearts is gut-wrenching.  Some days I have to remind myself that the sky is still blue, and the sun will rise again.  Personal demons destroy relationships, careers and lives.
Quite often, you think you have beat them, only for their ugly heads to rear again when you least expect it.

Recognizing the destruction and debris from inner personal battles with private demons is un-nerving.
Watching the struggle of those wars is every bit as frightening as seeing film footage of war torn nations.  The walking wounded are everywhere, most of their scars are invisible and sadly those who survive are not rewarded or recognized.

I guess you can tell, today was one of those sad days on the job, when hearts were heavy, spirits crushed, and not much sparkle in anyone's eyes.  These are  the days I feel as though I might be in a Mash Unit, just putting on band-aids and hoping for the best.  I give it my all, but truthfully,  on these days, my all is just not good enough.  

Hoping tonight, that whatever demons you might be fighting in your heart are defeated......and tomorrow, blue skies will be waiting for everyone and the sun will shine brightly........and we will all be victorious.

Monday, October 29, 2012


Full moon tonight, a big harvest moon and probably our first frost of the here in Alabama, we are so use to violent weather it is hard to believe what is taking place on the East Coast tonight.   Sadly, until you live through the storms you don't know what to expect.......but you never forget them.   Prayers for all of you in the chaos tonight.

Since it was a full  moon, all of my classes did moon salutations today and this evening.  A great way to great the moon, and relax and stretch the body.  My little cold has matured into a full size one today.   And now, Rick has a cold too!  There is a lot of sneezing, coughing and complaining at the Watson house tonight.  Nothing quite like a scratchy throat and achy body.....times two!

Thanks to those of you who listened to our radio show last glad you enjoyed our songs.
Blessings of peace to all tonight, and prayers for safety as well.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Radio Show

So much fun tonight listening to ourselves on the radio!  There is a show here called "Music From Home" featuring Alabama musicians, hosted by Dale Short.  Dale did a special Halloween show tonight and he played our two newest songs, Tattooed Soul and Cry Baby Hollow.
Always a treat to listen to his show, but really special when we are on it!  Rick also read one of his columns.   If any of you would like to listen to the show, it's about an's the link.
Music From Home Halloween

Sitting here sipping on Blueberry tea that my sister brought me from Maine last week.  It is wonderful.......especially since I picked up a cold somewhere this weekend.  Still very tired from the Scary Fish Fry yesterday, so I think this is it for me tonight.
Good night, Sweet dreams

Saturday, October 27, 2012

A New Tradition

I think we have started a new family tradition....... a Scary Fish Fry!   My nephew Haven, fisherman extraordinaire, and fish fryer
extraordinaire was the driving force behind this
wild and wacky afternoon.

He fried the fish, my niece Jayna and I did hushpuppies and fries, and cole-slaw, and my sister and her friend, Asa did deserts.  You would not believe how much food we cooked!

The  kids wore their costumes, ran and played with the dogs, gathered wood for the firepit, and cried when it was all over.  None of them wanted to go home.  I loved every minute of it, though I am very very tired!  Haven is already planning his fishing trips for next spring, so we can do this again, next year for Halloween!  I love this new tradition!  Haven's wife Alesha was brave enough to gather the kids for the photo, and sit with them to maintain stillness for one minute!  I'd bet  most of those kids are sound asleep by now.......or maybe not, I gave them treat bags filled with chocolates to take home (my trick on the parents)

Friday, October 26, 2012

Ingrid's Home

She's home!!!!!  Finally, Ingrid made it home from the near fatal blow of Mr. Deer!  My friends at the body shop not only fixed her up good as new, they gave her a hand job and made her look show room fresh!

I know, it's so silly to have an attachment to a car, but she and I have been down the road many miles together, we are both.......tough old broads!

Driving her, is like spending time with an old friend.......she has seen my tears, heard my laughter, and listened to my dreams.  I missed the old girl, so glad she's home.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Vision Boards and Folders

When I got home from work this evening, Rick and the dogs were sitting around the fire pit.
Spending the day, working in the yard yesterday paid off.......we both sat for awhile, enjoying the warmth of the fire, and the setting sun.  It was a great way to wind down before dinner.

I talked with a student today, he told me that my class had helped him to discover some things about himself.  He asked if that was common in yoga.  I told him yes,  because yoga takes you on an inward
journey.  Through the stillness and breathwork and meditation, it can be a wonderful self-discovery tool.  I also encouraged him to create a vision board.  Vision boards can help you discover many things about yourself......and can be a useful tool in obtaining the life you seek.   Basically you look through magazines, newspapers for words, phrases, and pictures of the life that appeals to you, of goals you want to reach, work, creative endeavors......make a collage, place it somewhere so that you can see it every day.  It is pretty amazing what that board  can do in a year.  Nothing fancy, you look at it every day, you are reminded of those things, the life you want, the work that is important to you, and if you are not working toward those images, there is conflict in the brain,  and you subconsciously strive to obtain them.

Today was that student's birthday, I mentioned to him that I usually did my board on my birthday or New Year's.  I have mentioned these boards before, if you have never tried one, don't scoff, try it, see what happens.  Our arbor that leads to our front door, and the firepit were both on previous
vision boards, my best friend had clipped a picture of a very expensive sofa years ago that she wanted........about six months ago, she found the sofa at a consignment store, in great condition, at a fragment of the original price.  Her words and pictures are in a folder that she looks at weekly.  Nothing is too great, or too insignificant for your board or folder.  My 200 RYT was on one of my boards, so was a trip to the Rockies......both obtained.

In the words of Wayne Dyer, "you get what you think about, whether you want it or not."  Might as well look at that board or folder, and get what you want.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

That's A Good Day

The energy gods must be smiling on me today........more energy than I have had in a long time.
I spent the day outside, washing yoga mats, and planting pansies and getting a couple of pumpkins to
carve.  It was warm and sunny, and did I tell you how good it felt to have the energy to do something?

Astro and Buddy have moved into Blackie Bear's place by my desk.......they are both snoring.  I think they miss him almost as much as I do.  They too are tired, they spent their day outdoors watching me, the chipmunks, and the squirrels.  Apparently, I was as entertaining as the wildlife.

Ingrid is still with the car doc, I miss her.  Mr. Deer almost took her out of commission permanently.
We think she may come home tomorrow.  Keeping my fingers crossed that the old broad comes home.

This day has been reaffirming for me, there have been times when I thought that my energy levels would never come heart is full of gratitude for  what I experienced today.  Just a simple day, as days go, but I had the energy to live it the way I wanted to.  That's a good day.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Fire Drill

A beautiful blue sky today, it made the colors of the leaves even more brilliant.  The drive home was a meditative one, with an ever watchful eye for Mr. Deer.  I taught a yoga class on how to use yoga to deal with anxiety today.  I hear that word, anxiety and also anxious many times each week.

LOTS of breath work, very gentle stretches and many hugs.......that was the first class.  The second class came in, once again we were off to great start with breath work and then.........the piercing shrillness of the fire alarm!  Of all days, we had a fire drill!  UGH!  I owe my second class big, and I promised I would make it up to them on Thursday.   A fire drill!.......working on anxiety and we have a fire drill.  Tonight, I am laughing about the absurdity of it all, but today it was not funny.

What can I say, you just never know what the day will the midst of a soothing class for anxiety relief..........a fire drill!  Gotta smile and love it.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Express Gratitude

"Gratitude is the sign of noble souls."   - Aesop

I know, you're thinking that I sure do write a lot about gratitude.......I can't help myself, I know personally how gratitude can change your life.  We can sit around and complain, we can see the bad in everything, and never be grateful......and that is how our life will be forever.

We can look for the beauty, and be grateful for every blue sky, and every child's smile......we can be grateful, we can choose joy, and live a remarkable life.  Gratitude is a game changer.  Gratitude will help you pray for blessings for those you once considered unworthy of blessings.  Gratitude will make you kinder.  Gratitude will give you courage to pursue your dreams.  Gratitude will give you tolerance,
it will teach you to let go of judgements and expectations.  Gratitude will help you let go of hate and anger.

Start tonight, write down five reasons to be this every day for a month.  You will begin to see not only the beauty in all that is around you, you will see the miracle that we call life.
Write down five things, people, reasons, your gratitude......find your nobility.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Pick and Choose

Sunday has been a beautiful autumn day.......the trees are starting to show their colors, this morning was in the low 40's........we took the dogs for a walk.  My energy has started to creep back up, doesn't last all day, but I had a few hours today when I felt really good......but by six o'clock this was gone.  That's ok, I have been keeping a diary of all this treatment stuff......and I know that this too shall pass.

One of the biggest lessons that I think I have learned from all of this treatment stuff........I can't do everything, every day.  I have had to learn to pick and choose. That may seem so shallow, but for me, it has been a really big deal.  I have learned that it is really important for me to continue my daily walks, even if that means something else doesn't get done.  It is really important for me to rest, even if that means I turn down an invitation for something that I wanted to do.  This picking and choosing is hard!

I think in the past, I may have caused some friends to feel guilty or bad, because on the surface I appeared to be doing it all.........but you know, my friends didn't see my come-aparts.......when I had so many things going on at once, it was like being on the tilt-a-whirl at the fair........the  meltdowns came, just in the privacy of my home.    There were so many times, I danced as fast as I possibly could, and it was never fast enough.  What a waste of energy, and time. I spent so much of me, trying to make others happy.

My life still gets complicated, now with the treatments, and the visits with the docs.  But keeping it all in perspective has become easier. My biggest fear now, is not too many irons in the fire, but how to stay healthy.......and how to pick and choose what is truly important each day.  If I could tell each of you a secret tonight, a secret that would give you a better would be pick and choose every day.......pick and choose who you want to spend time with, what work you want to do, how you want to live to your life........pick and choose.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Troubles Melt Like Lemon Drops

music by Harold Arlen and lyrics by E.Y. Harburg

 Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?
not sure why, but these lyrics have stayed in my head all week, I think some days we all would like to to fly somewhere over the rainbow.
Today is third day after treatment, not doing so well tonight.........
Wishing you all a place where skies are blue, and troubles melt like lemon drops.
Good night, Sweet dreams

Friday, October 19, 2012

The Right Day

"There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done.  One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow.  Today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live."  - Dali Lama

A friend had sent me this quote this morning, it was a gentle reminder.  I had allowed myself to get a little down this week.......first the incident with Ingrid and the deer (Ingrid is still at the car doc's) and then of course it was treatment week.  It can be discouraging when it takes most of your energy to shower and dress.  The art of doing nothing is so difficult for me........but, after the shower and getting dressed, Rick took me to one of my favorite restaurants for lunch......and then I came home and slept for most of the afternoon.  I am learning to practice "my art of doing nothing."

Today is the right day, it is really all we have......yesterday, is just a memory and tomorrow may never is the right day to live.  I should have that tattooed on my forehead!  Actually, when I have the energy, I am going to paint our bedroom.......I think I might paint "today is the right day"  over the door.......I'll take pictures!

Today was a rather strange weather day........the wind blew fiercely from the west......and blew up a dust storm!  Yep, dust from the mid-west......the sky was blue,  but you could see the clouds of dust blowing across the trees and the horizon.  I wanted to sit outside, but the lungs reminded me that today was not the right day to inhale dust. 

I hope today has been the right for you, that it has been a day to love and live.  I also suggest that today would be the right day for a news fast......I know that may appall some of you, but with all the negative political spam right now, it would do your heart ( the physical and the emotional one) good.
Take a break, look for beauty, and let today be the right love and live.

Thursday, October 18, 2012


Forgive me, it will be a very short post tonight.  I am tired and achy, I didn't get to sleep as much today as I normally do.......Jordan was sick so he spent the day with me while his  mom worked.
The most strenuous thing that either of us did all day was blow bubbles and eat popsicles.
My bed is demanding that I visit it soon......fatigue makes me grumpy......and yes, I know......I should have rested today.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Treatment # Nine

The infusions are taking longer now, today was three and a half hours........but apparently, the slower the drip, the less nasty the side effects.  Even if it gets to the point that it takes all day I am willing to do whatever it takes.  The good news, the new nausea meds are working, actually that is great news!

My friends in the infusion center were subdued today, the drips are taking their toll.  A couple of the spouses sat and talked with me, I can see the fear and the worry for their loved ones.  We spoke about how much we missed Rosemary, she left her sweetness in our hearts and memories.
Rosemary lost her battle quickly, but there are others who share their stories with us.......some have been fighting for ten, fifteen years.......I don't easily discuss my illness with most......but it is easy to share in that infusion room.  The most often asked question for me, when do your treatments end?
And that is what I struggle with most, because they open-ended.

As the women and I talked today, I told them I had found a support group on line, that it had helped to hear other people's stories, but there was quite a bit of sadness too.  It seems that what I have hits children too, and I cannot imagine being a child facing "open-ended" treatments.  One young woman shared a story about  her mom on line, that her mother had taken her infusions for a couple of years, and then told the family she just couldn't do it anymore.........her mother died with pneumonia less than a year after stopping the treatments.   I am grateful for my yoga life style, it has taught me not only one day at a time, but one breath at a time.

We have become a family of sorts in that infusion room, people from all walks of life.......whose common thread is a drip.  We grieve together, we encourage each other, and every day that I am there, I try so hard to send love to each and every one in that room.  I looked around that room today, and at times, the suffering smothers me, but there is laughter too......and when you hear laughter in that room, it is like the sound of angels singing.

Rick told me on the way home today that he spoke with my doctor in the hall, she thinks that my illness is for a purpose, that I am in that room to help.......the strange thing, I feel the same way.
I can't think about myself when I am there, all I can do is look around and think what can I do, what can I say to help.  One of the patients was having difficulty walking, my first thought......I need to unplug my drip and help her.......I know, I am there for healing too.  This room, these treatments, the people I have met have changed has all changed Rick too.

So today, treatment # 9,  tonight it is not my illness that is getting me down, but the illness of all those I see, all the ones I cry and laugh with......say a prayer for my friends please, and for those three wonderful nurses who are always there for us,  and I 'll say a prayer for all of you.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Deer Shy

First let me just say, I struggle with the death of any living creature......yes, even snakes.  I am truly a live and let live kinda of girl.  My family makes fun of me, my niece Samantha told once when she was a child that I was the only person she knew who apologized to a squirrel when I ran over him accidentally.......yes, I do that kind of thing.  But my family nickname is ......The Deerslayer.
Rick has threatened to get me a personalized car tag with that slogan on it.

I have driven to work the same road for seven years come December.  This morning, our niece Samantha had some issues with her new car, and she being a 21 year old, pretty female did not feel comfortable dealing with the "guys" at the dealership.  Rick went with her as moral support.  They agreed to give her a rental, but Rick didn't have a way home( Sam had to go to work) so I drove my work route to Warrior to pick him up.

It had been a very productive morning, the sun was bright, the air was chilly, and it's only a twenty minute drive.  Last year, our deer population seemed to disappear after the tornadoes.  This fall I have already seen more than I did all last year.  The road is curvy and hilly, and with the bright morning sun, there were places with dark shadows.  Fifteen minutes into my drive, on a curve, rounding a hill, in the shadows, I felt something plow into the passenger side of my first thought another car had hit me, then I realized it came from the hill side.  A couple of seconds later, I heard something skid across Ingrid's roof, looking in my rearview mirror, there was a HUGE DEER
spinning in the road, she flipped and then bounded into the woods.

I drove Ingrid into a drive way, the passenger door had a BIG dent, the chrome trim was missing,
the door wouldn't open, the window didn't work.  I had been hit by a deer............again.  This is number six, in the past seven years.  I know it is hard to believe, but I have never hit one, they have all hit me!!!!!    My friends and family members who hunt, have decided to stop spending time in the woods and just ride around with me.  They call me the "deer magnet".

Ingrid is at the car doc's, we are hoping that her door can be fixed.  She is old, and it maybe difficult to find a replacement door......but in the words of one of my friends, "Ingrid is apparently a tough old broad".........she cant' let a deer take her out.  I am getting a little nervous, what if the local deer population do a "hit" list with Ingrid's description on it,  maybe they already have, maybe they don't like her looks, or her color.  Who knows, but I am getting "deer shy."

Monday, October 15, 2012

Look For the Beauty

"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it."  - Confucius

In the old  Tom Hanks movie, Joe and the Volcano, the opening scene is one of drab gray misery......people walking into the factory, broken, colorless, .....and there is a small yellow flower that is peeking up through a crack in the old broken sidewalk.......and someone steps on  the flower.   All around there was starkness,  and the obvious point of trampled.  No one saw it.

Life gets that way sometimes,  filled with despair, and sadness and hopelessness, we forget to look for beauty.  And regardless of the circumstances........there is always beauty.  One of the most touching stories I ever read was about a war torn area, there was destruction everywhere, very few of the townspeople were left, mostly women and children.....they were cold and hungry.  When spring came, there was a single cherry tree that blossomed, and it was filled with fruit.  I will never forget about the survivors of that village, how they described the beauty of that tree and its fruit, and how those were the best cherries they had ever eaten.  They saw the beauty.

Everyday, I remind myself to look for the is still here, though in this election year, it seems sometimes to have vanished.  Everything does have beauty, after the tornadoes struck our state last year, we saw some of the most bizarre beautiful things.......twisted trees and metal,  glorious blue skies, strange abstract piles of debris.  There is beauty in the old, the unique, the disfigured.....there is beauty in the barren, the disarrayed, and the chaotic.  Everything does have beauty, and yes, you have to look for it.  On the way to my mother's funeral, I realized that fall had come, and the color of the leaves was dazzling.  There was beauty, even in grief.

Tomorrow, look for the beauty.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Dog Hugs

It has been a week of ups and downs, physically and emotionally.  I have mentioned our neighbor's dogs before, Dixie, Rebel and Tinkerbell.  Dixie and Rebel are beautiful white and tan bulldogs, Tinkerbell is some sort of itty bitty fluffy dog.  They visit every morning, for their daily treats while Rick and I are having coffee.  We watch them walking up the hill, to sit patiently in front of our greatroom windows,  while I fetch their treats......they know on the weekends,they get extras.

The trio had their treats and were sitting in our yard keeping a watchful eye on chipmunks and other critters that need to be chased.  I walked out to get our Sunday papers......all three followed me down the hill to the box.  It was a warm beautiful morning, and I decided to just sit down in the grass with my buddies.   Tink, jumped up and sat on my lap, Dixie and Rebel, nuzzled me from both sides.
Unconditional love,  along with a a little dog slobber made my morning.  I'm sure the neighbors could hear me laugh, and my dogs who were in the fence were not so happy.....their momma was getting love from those dogs across the street!  That's ok, Dixie and Rebel and Tink went home, and my dogs got hugs all around too.

Thanks to all the doggie hugs this morning, my day got off to a great start and continued that way all day.  Next time you have a bad day, I suggest dog hugs, and plenty of them!

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Hard Lessons

We are living beings, for our bodies to thrive and flourish there are certain things we have to have.
Fresh clean water, sunlight and fresh air, foods that are non-processed, healthy fats, exercise.
This past year has been an adventure of sorts, and not necessarily a good one.....though it has had it's moments.  First two years of lung infections, then the crash and burn of my immune system, and this week I find that my  skeletal system is not doing so good either.  I believe with all my heart the major culprit for much of this.......steroids.  Last summer for almost four months, my system was bombarded with mistake, not questioning the docs about the amount  being given to me, not only then, but throughout the previous years.

I have learned some hard they are, in hopes that they will help some of you.....
No matter how much you trust your physician, ask questions
No matter how much you trust your physician,  get a second opinion
No matter how much you trust your physician, get smart and study your illness
No matter how much you trust your physician, write down your concerns, trust your instincts
No matter how much you trust your physician, ask about side effects of treatments/drugs
No matter how much you trust your physician, ask about alternatives
No matter how much you trust your physician,  make sure that every doc you are seeing knows EVERY thing that is being done by any other doc
No matter how much your trust your physician, if their attitudes and beliefs make your uncomfortable, FIND another doc

Health care is a two-way street, we are responsible for our well-being in many ways.  I   didn't have bad doctors before, but I believe that they, as well as myself, had become complacent about my care.  I will continue to live a healthy lifestyle, but I will never allow myself to become complacent about my healthcare again.  I think that I have a wonderful team (Rick calls them the A-Team) of docs now, but I research everything they recommend, I keep a notebook full of questions,  and I make sure that each one knows what the other is doing.  So if you find yourself with health issues ( and I hope you never do, but life happens that way) remember the lessons that I have learned.  Oh yes, one more thing, always have someone else with you if at all possible when treatments, diagnosis, etc are being discussed, it really helps to have an extra set of ears hearing what is being said.

Friday, October 12, 2012

The Most Important 15 Minutes of Your Day

Today I taught meditation classes, to be honest not many people with addictions are really interested in meditation, stillness, quite often scares them.  But for the time that they spend at our facility, if they come to my class more than once, they will get a meditation class.  Usually when I tell them, we are going to  have a mediation class, I see eyes rolls,  and maybe a few grunts.
I got that today, with both classes.

After class,  every person walked by me and said pretty much the same thing,  "wow, I have never been so relaxed."  They are so surprised that 10 to 15 minutes of stillness, and breath work, can make them feel so good.  They are like most of us, we figure if it is that simple, it just can't work.
Why has complicated been ingrained so deeply in our brains, why are we so skeptical about the simple things.

I try to explain that our bodies, our brains, need stillness, need quiet time, need rest, sleep and relaxation.......and it needs it with no assistance from chemicals or alcohol. I am constantly quoting
"meditate, don't medicate".  Meditation is a practice, and you have to work at it, (practice it).
There are thousands of books, tapes, videos on meditation.......and they are helpful.  But honestly,
you can do this on your own.......sit quietly, spine nice and long, breathe at a slow gentle pace.
You can burn a candle or not, you can listen to soft music or sit outside and listen to nature.
Breathe, be aware of your breath,  when thoughts disrupt you, observe them ( as you would leaves falling in the wind) but always be aware of your breath.  Set a time if you need to,  but everyone deserves 15 minutes, every one needs 15 minutes.  What could be more important than your peace of mind, your relaxation, your time to connect with spirit?

Thursday, October 11, 2012


"There will always be dreams grander or humbler than your own, but there will never be a dream exactly like your own.....for you are unique and more wondrous than you know."
-   Linda Staten

For all of you tonight, hold tight to your dreams, don't lose them.  Your dreams are a part of you,
a vital piece of who you are.  They might not all come true, but they often are the fuel that drives us on a difficult day,  they are food and comfort for our spirits.

Dreams are the lightest load we carry in our lives, never let anyone convince you that dreams are foolish......foolish are those who dare not dream.  May you always have a dream.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Getting Old??????

It has been an unsettling, trying day.  Frankly, I am really upset with my body tonight.
For years, I have "done all the right things".......and honestly, at this point it doesn't seem to matter.
I had quite a come-apart with a doctor today.......I told him if I had known that all this stuff I had done through the years was not going to work.......and yes, I told him the following....."I would have smoked like a chimney, drank like a fish, never have exercised, and eaten as much of any thing that I damn well pleased."

Of course, his reply, was......"well, just  think of what kind of shape you would be if you hadn't done all the right stuff."  And then.......he had the audacity to tell me I was just getting old.  Ha!

Lots of breath work, lots of "discussing" with Rick.  Thank god, tomorrow is another day.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Let Things Flow

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” 
― Lao Tzu

This quote spoke to my heart was a reminder that I needed to go with the flow.
I am afraid that quite often I am like a salmon, fighting with all my might to swim upstream.
It is time to open my heart and my life to change.  

I hope if you are at a time and place where change is staring you in the face, this quote serves as a gentle reminder to you........don't resist.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Mr. Blue Jay

I saw my first blue jay in our yard today, since the tornadoes came through last year.
I know that many find blue jays annoying, but they are my favorite birds.  I find their color  amazing, and I actually like to hear their not so musical call.  He was sitting on one of the feeders by the bird bath, eating suet and was really being quite nice to the other birds.  I think he knew I was watching him, he preened and jumped from limb to limb on the bushes around the feeding area.

Seeing him, brought a big smile to my face.  I had missed my jays, their loud and sometimes bossy behavior.  But most of all, I had missed their color.  All summer the humming birds, and cardinals had kept the garden filled with color, but it was just not the same without the jays.  To see that burst of brilliant blue, tinged with white and black........just so beautiful!

Welcome back, Mr. Blue Jay

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Catch-up and Rest

It was a rainy cold day yesterday, and we spent it with the frogs at the Frog Festival!  Rick and I managed a singer/songwriter stage, so we had the opportunity to share all our talented friends with several thousand visitors.   With all the rain, it was a good day for the frogs, but I am still cold and damp!

Today, was a catch-up and rest day.  Breakfast with a friend, lunch with my sister and two naps!  Oh yeah, and a walk with the dogs in the woods!  This next week is slammed too, I suppose I am trying to cram as much as possible in the non-treatment weeks.  I can't help it, life is short, treatment weeks rob me of several days......and those days are precious.....and I can't get them back.   So, yes, I know......I push.

If any of you would like to see the interview and video that was done a couple of weeks ago at our concert at the Bankhead House just go to the following link.

Wishing you all a week that brings joy, a week of peace, a week of good health!

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Miss Potter

I love painting with watercolors, I use acrylics and have used oils and lord knows I have done a lot of pencil drawings.......but watercolors for me are magic.
Tonight, after we got home from the Frog Festival (which was a huge success and great fun) Rick and I needed an escape.  We watched Miss Potter, one of the most beautiful, poignant films.  It is about Beatrix Potter's life, her stories, art work and the incredible gift of land she gave to the English people.

As I sat and watched the movie, I realized that my love of watercolors came straight from the Peter Rabbit books that I had loved as a child.  I always wanted my art work to have that saturation of color, yet a very fragile feel also.  I have a couple of children's stories that I have written, tucked away in my box of love and dreams.  Maybe it is time, to dust them off, and add some art to them.

Beatrix Potter was so ahead of her time, not only in her personal life, but buying beautiful old farms, preserving them in their working state, and then leaving them to the English people so that the countryside could be enjoyed by generations.

If your spirits need lifting on a rainy cold night, I suggest Miss Potter.  It is not a new movie, but the cinematography is wonderful, the story is uplifting......and if you like me, loved Peter Rabbit and all his friends,  it will be a  much needed visit with old friends.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Sweet Dreams

Forgive me for my stupidity and lack of words tonight.  My brain and my body are numb from fatigue.  There will be something better tomorrow night......or maybe more of the same.  I am sure there is some information in me somewhere, but it refuses to appear tonight.
Good night, Sweet dreams

Thursday, October 4, 2012

A Cup of Tea

A hot cup of tea......tonight it is rose and cinnamon, just the thing after a long day.  My body has not recovered from the past week-end of intense yoga training.....well, considering it was my first workshop since treatments had started, for me it was intense.

What is it about a cup of tea that makes everything seem alright?  A  cup of tea and a piece of toast seems to be the food of gods, after you've been ill.  A cup of tea, when the mind is weary, the body exhausted......tea is the soothing balm.

My friend Jackie loves her blueberry bliss, Rick loves chamomile, and some days only red zinger will do for me.  But, when I need comfort.......rose is what I reach for.  If you look in our pantry it looks like a tea store, everything from peppermint to sage......but I promise, I will have a tea for whatever ails you.

My cup is almost empty, and I feel the the weariness of the day leaving my body and my mind.
Good night, Sweet dreams

Wednesday, October 3, 2012


Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day. 
Dalai Lama 

My best friend Kaye called tonight, it had been a week since we have chatted.  She is going on safari and of course we discussed what clothes she should take.  Her wisdom blows me away, her words are clever, yet to the point.....she worries about me, she loves me.  She is truly a meaningful friend in every sense of the word.......I love our time together.

It has also been a meaningful day.  Lots of things to think about, the pursuit of lingering dreams and 
the possibilities that exist when we look for them.

May you have many meaningful days, may your life be filled with meaningful friends.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Take Time To Listen

My friend Terri asked today how I came to be at our workplace.....she knew there had not been yoga at our rehab center until I started the classes there almost seven years ago.  At first I was very hesitant to tell her the true story, but Terri and I are friends and we share such a love for those that we serve.  Actually, I had second thoughts about writing this particular story tonight, but I think we all struggle at times with really listening to our inner selves.

Seven years ago, my mother was dying.....hospice nurses told us it was only a matter of weeks.
I was devastated, though I was exhausted from helping to care for her, she was my mom.....and I could not imagine life without her.  I was  teaching yoga at a local gym, actually across the street from my mom's house, I had a class at a couple of community centers, and at a drug rehab facility in a town a few miles away.  It's not as though I needed or had the time to teach more classes.

But, one morning, after Rick had gone to work, and I had come home to rest and shower before going back to care for my mom ( bear with me, this is when you have to listen to your heart)  I heard a voice as clear as could be, tell me to call the facility where I now work.  I had never been there, knew no one there, but did know it was only a few miles from where we live.  I called Rick at work, told him what had happened, and he told me I should make the call.  

I made the call, the receptionist put me through to the man who is my supervisor....I took a breath and told him that I was a yoga teacher, would he be interested in classes at the facility.  He asked me to come for an interview.  I drove up the next day, met he and the director and they both told me they would give the classes a try.  One class per week, on Saturday afternoons.  I explained about my mom, the man who would become my supervisor told me to go home and care for her until she passed.....then take a few weeks to grieve, then call him.  My mom passed two weeks later on November 3,  the first Saturday in December I taught the first yoga class years this December, I am still there.

Terri looked at me as I told her my story, she smiled and said "this is where you were supposed to be, you were meant to be here."  She is right, there have been times, when I questioned my being there, but in my heart, I knew, I believed in what I was doing, I knew that I could teach yoga in a way that would help those struggling with addictions.

I think I our lives are so hectic and so fast paced, we don't always listen or don't even hear that still voice that guides us.......but I know in my heart, that it is there.......and when you listen, it never steers you wrong.  Rick and I wrote a song, one of the lines......."your heart don't give bad advice."
Take time to listen.

Monday, October 1, 2012

October 1

October the sand in your hourglass falling through as quickly as it is in mine?  This is the tenth month of did it happen?  For me, my calendar this year has been  marked by treatment dates and doctor visits and gigs played.  Sadly more treatments and doc visits than gigs but so it goes.

October 1..... this would have been my parents 70th Wedding Anniversary.  I miss them both so very much.

October 1......rain and warm muggy weather today, chilly tonight.  Touches of color painting leaves,
yellow black eyed Susans, purple beauty berries.  A silvery moon with threads of clouds floating by.

October 1......our first red, sweet crispy apples right  off the tree.

October 1......days are shorter, sunlight comes through my bedroom windows later each morning.....and that first mug of coffee tastes even better when the morning has a chill.

October 1........a new page in my daily planner, a new page on the calendar.  Time for pumpkins and witches,  for gorging on candy, and the smell of leaves burning, for sweaters and boots, for smores and hot cider, and trips to corn mazes.

October favorite time of the year.